Family Quest: A Heart of Wisdom, Lesson 2
LESSON 2: DON’T BE A FOOL, LISTEN TO THE WISE
What is one of the most often lamented or joked about attributes of youthful thinking? We all know the old adage, “The older I get, the wiser my father becomes.” The foolishness of youth leads us to believe that we know everything and that our way is better. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.” Sadly, this foolishness, if not lovingly corrected in our children, often continues on into
adulthood and creates ever increasing heartache along the way as the consequences of our foolishness grow more serious. “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to
death” (Prov. 14:12).
How is this foolish tendency remedied? What is God’s plan for His children? There are two main parts; the content and the delivery mechanism. The first part, the content, is the revealed word of God. If a Christian ever hopes to share the mind and attitudes of Christ then they must immerse themselves in knowing Him. “Blessed is the one…whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who
meditates on his law day and night” (Psalm 1:1-2). The writer of Hebrews tells us we must be “transformed by the renewing of your mind,” in order to understand and share the mind of Christ.
This occurs through exposure to His Word. But there is a second piece of the puzzle.
“Turbulence ahead.” Have you ever wondered how pilots know ahead of time to have you buckle up in preparation for turbulence? The answer is simple. Pilots talk to one another. Pilots further along a flight path will report turbulence back to those who are following behind. In a very real sense they’ve been where the other pilots are heading. God places us in families, both biological and
spiritual, for many reasons. Not least of these is for the purpose of imparting wisdom to those following behind us. Those of us who are more wise and experienced are able to lovingly point out
the coming turbulence and, more importantly, the solution to life’s turbulence in the living Word of God. It is vital that we echo and magnify the Bibles’ exhortation to the young to “pay attention and turn your ears to the sayings of the wise.” Do not be discouraged. Though it will often seem like you are talking to an impenetrable wall, God’s word is “sharper than any two-edged sword,” and can be trusted to penetrate the heart of our kids if we are faithful and do not give up in our task of graciously and lovingly pointing them to the way, the truth, and the life.
BIG IDEA: Listen to the wise and wisdom will protect you.
MEDITATING ON THE WORD:
Proverbs 2:1-11
Proverbs 22:17-19
Proverbs 1:8-9
Psalm 1:1-3
SECTION VERSE:
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. – Proverbs 2:9-10
LESSON VERSE:
Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach. – Proverbs 22:17
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
- Read aloud Proverbs 2:1-11
- What does God want us to do with His wisdom?
- Where does wisdom come from? (verse 6)
- What good things will wisdom bring us?
- How can you apply what you learned in Quest this week?
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ABOUT FAMILY QUEST: At Reston Bible Church, we firmly believe that parents are a child’s first and most important spiritual leader. In order to support you that mission, we have created a parent devotional and some discussion starters to go along with each lesson your grade school age children are learning at Quest on Sundays. Our hope and prayer is that this material will help you to engage with your children around the topics they are learning on Sunday mornings, answer their questions, go deeper with them, and find real, day-to-day applications. We are honored to be able to partner with you in the critical task of sharing Christ with the next generation.
A Blessed Father’s Day
Regardless of the history of our hurt associated with our earthly fathers, because of our redemption through Jesus Christ, God is now our Father.
Research from scholars has concluded that in all existing books of the Old Testament and all existing books of extrabiblical Jewish writings dating from the beginning of Judaism until the tenth century A.D. in Italy—there is not a single reference of a Jewish person addressing God directly in the first person as Father. Jewish people and their children were trained to address God with proper phrases of respect. But of all the titles used, the term Father was never among them. The first Jewish rabbi to address God as “Father” directly was Jesus of Nazareth.
This radical departure from tradition greatly contributed to why the Jewish leaders and people of the day wanted to kill Him. How dare Jesus address the creator of everything, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, with such an intimate, personal term as Father. Even more extreme is when Jesus told his followers to do the same. “When you pray, you say, ‘Our Father.’” You and I have been adopted into His family (Ephesians 1:5), and as co-heirs with the Son we can now cry out “Abba Father.”
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3:1)
What kind of love? A love unlike anything we have ever seen. There is nothing to compare to it. A love so unimaginable that while we were enemies of God, Christ died for us. A love so gracious that it is free to us because another paid the price. A love so enduring that nothing can ever separate us from it. A love so complete that every future sin is forgiven. A love so personal that He welcomes each of us just as we are. He delights in us. He actually wants us to enjoy the fullness of His goodness. A love so humble that He tells us to approach Him boldly. God, our Father, is the perfect Father.
Yet being “made new” by the Holy Spirit and having God as our Father does not result in divine amnesia. Whether the pain from our past centers around neglect, abandonment, or abuse, like garbage in a compost pile, the LORD can turn this suffering into the richest soil from which our lives bear fruit. God’s grace can heal any wound — including wounds from fathers. The apostle Peter wrote that “He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.” This means the ability to forgive the worst of dads.
The LORD is continually at work bringing reconciliation between fathers and their children. One of the catalysts is often the children becoming fathers themselves. Any father who has yet to fail repeatedly in raising children hasn’t completed the process. He has only rocked a baby. And while we are each tempted to be paralyzed or depressed by our failures, let them instead serve to sprout our contrition, grow our confession, and energize us to teach our children until they know God as their Father.
So, then, every day becomes Father’s Day.
Five Skills for Effective Fatherhood
With a desire to aid our prayers and pursuit to become better dads, I have included below the summary outline of a talk I have given entitled “Five Skills for Effective Fatherhood.” It is aided by too many saints to footnote. I did not always demonstrate these qualities in raising my own children, and when I didn’t our relationship was negatively affected. Let us continue the pursuit of becoming better fathers and grandfathers.
1. Expressing gratefulness to the LORD and others (Ephesians 5:15-20, Colossians 3:17).
- A father should express genuine gratitude to those in his own family for the efforts they make to please him; otherwise they will cease to make the effort.
- Your family will learn to express their gratefulness as they see you do it. Consider the example of the apostle Paul. In nearly every letter he writes he thanks the Christians and frequently names specific people for something. Romans 1:8: “First I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, (and what does he give thanks for?) that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world.” Colossians 1:3-4: “We give thanks to God, the Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, praying always for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus, and of the love that you have for all the saints.”
- A basic foundation of gratitude is a spirit of contentment. Philippians 4:6: “Be anxious or worried for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know unto God.” And Paul goes on to say in v. 11 that “I have learned in whatsoever state I am in to be content. I know both how to suffer need and I know how to abound: everywhere and in ALL things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” As a Father this means stopping and enjoying the accomplishments of the family. If you constantly urge your family on to more achievement without stopping to enjoy and praise what they have done, they will get discouraged and want to give up trying. They will feel they can never do enough to please you.
2. Maintain a genuine spirit of humility (Philippians 2:3-8, 1 Peter 5:5-6).
- Your wife and each child need to be told that they are needed and loved. They need to hear that you need their prayers and help in order to be the spiritual leader that God intends you to be.
- Admit when you are wrong. If we don’t admit obvious faults and sins, they will translate this as pride and react to it. James 5:16: “Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another.”
- All members of a family will fail each other at some point in time. This cannot be completely avoided. Fathers should lead the reconciliation process. James 5:18: “God who has reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation.” Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”
- Do not demand to be heard. Earn the privilege by developing a relationship with each one in the family.
- Display good manners. It demonstrates to others what we really think of our wife and children. It shows we value them as people. A lack of manners by a father will infect the family. His sons will develop a disrespect for their mother and sister. Our wife and daughters will tend to withdraw. The very essence of good manners involves sacrifice and yielding rights as Christ did.
3. Learn to control our tongue and emotions.
James warns us in James 3:8-10 that the tongue is “an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With our tongue we bless God our heavenly Father; and then we use it to curse men which are made in the image of God. Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brothers these things ought not to be so.”
- Harsh words and thoughtless statements cut deeply within the heart of a family member and are not easily removed. Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
- Consistency in emotions without the father being way up one day and way down the next. Avoid anger or complaining. Our children receive encouragement and reassurance from us from our stability. If you are in a time of depression seek help. The day will come when you have rich and useful insights to pass onto your family and others.
- Discipline should not be done in anger but calmly after clarifying the offense.
4. Accept each child at his or her own rate of development.
Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
- Each of your children are different and will mature physically and spiritually on his or her own unique schedule.
- Never compare anyone in the family with another with a greater ability or achievement. In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul warned them against comparing themselves among themselves.
- Fathers should seek to balance supervision and freedom to fail. Too much freedom will be interpreted by children as rejection. Too much supervision will be interpreted by the wife and children as a lack of trust. Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers do not provoke (exasperate or frustrate) your children to anger but bring them up in the nurture and admonition (training and instruction) of the LORD.
- Express appreciation for what they are now, rather than what they might be in the future.
5. Recognize individual Worth and Potential
- God gifts and equips each one uniquely. Romans 11:29: “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” (He never withdraws his gifts once they are given and never changes His mind towards those to whom he gives His grace).” See also Romans 12:3-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:4-29.
- Praise and emphasize the strong points and provide training for the weak points. (Romans 15:1-2)
- Commit yourself to God’s reputation and their success rather than focus on your own success.
- A father should not ask his family to do things he would not do.
- They need reassurance that we love them and whether they are right or wrong, we always will love them. They may break our heart by doing evil but they must know that we will never disown them. Luke 15:11-32: The prodigal son and the father.
In the great chapter on love, 1 Corinthians 13:6-8, the Scripture says that “love does not rejoice in iniquity (evil, wrongdoing), but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always endures. Love never fails.”
Celebrating Generosity: Mom’s Connection
Mom’s Connection is a place where moms with kids from infancy to elementary age can come and learn, share and connect with other moms. We’ve all been ’new’ before and we have a heart to make sure no mom feels alone.
We are grateful for the giving which supports this ministry and for the RBCers who give generously of their time to serve our young mothers. Get more information on Mom’s Connection at RBC, please visit www.restonbible.org/moms.
Preparing for Sunday | June 18
SONGS WE’LL BE SINGING TOGETHER
Be Thou My Vision | [listen]
by: Eleanor Henrietta Hull, Mary Elizabeth Byrne (Arrangement: Ascend The Hill)
2 Corinthians 3:17-18
This I Believe (The Creed) | [listen | lyrics]
Ben Fielding, Matt Crocker
Romans 1:16
This Is Amazing Grace | [listen + lyrics]
Josh Farro, Phil Wickham, Jeremy Riddle
Revelation 5:12
The Lion and the Lamb | [listen + lyrics]
Leeland Mooring, Benton Brown, Brian Johnson
Deuteronomy 33:26
Doxology | [listen | lyrics]
Thomas Ken (1674), music attributed to Louis Bourgeois
Romans 11:36
SERMON TEXT
Psalm 16
Preparing for Sunday | June 11
SONGS WE’LL BE SINGING TOGETHER
Beautiful the Blood | [listen]
Louie Giglio, Steve Fee
John 19:33-35
Touch the Sky | [listen + lyrics]
Dylan Thomas, Joel Houston, Michael Guy Chislett
Mark 8:35
Great Things | [listen]
Mack Brock, Chris Brown, Wade Joye
Psalm 126:3
His Mercy Is More | [listen]
Matt Boswell, Matt Papa
Romans 5:20
10,000 Reasons | [listen + lyrics]
Jonas Myrin, Matt Redman
Psalm 103:1
SERMON TEXT
Psalm 103
Celebrating Generosity: AWANA
We are so grateful for a church that gives so much of their time, treasure and talent to pour the gospel and the Word of God into the lives of our children. RBC, thank you for being a generous church!
Preparing for Sunday | June 4
SONGS WE’LL BE SINGING TOGETHER
Rejoice | [listen]
Dustin Kensrue, Stuart Townend
Philippians 4:4
Hosanna | [listen]
Brooke Ligertwood
Mark 11:9-10
The Lion and the Lamb | [listen + lyrics]
Leeland Mooring, Benton Brown, Brian Johnson
Deuteronomy 33:26
Alive in Us | [listen]
Ingram, Morgan | Hillsong Music
Ephesians 2:4-5
SERMON TEXT
Psalm 42
Preparing for Sunday | May 28
SONGS WE’LL BE SINGING TOGETHER
Holy Spirit | [listen]
Bryan and Katie Torwalt
2 Corinthians 3:17-18
Man of Sorrows | [listen]
Matt Crocker, Brooke Ligertwood
Isaiah 53:3
This Is Amazing Grace | [listen + lyrics]
Josh Farro, Phil Wickham, Jeremy Riddle
Revelation 5:12
Good, Good Father | [listen]
Anthony Brown, Pat Barrett
Galatians 4:7
O Praise The Name | [listen + lyrics]
by Benjamin Hastings, Dean Ussher, Marty Sampson
Romans 5:8
SERMON TEXT
Psalm 19
VIDEO: Youth Summer Camp Invite
Jr. & Sr. High students, join us July 23-29 for our 2017 Youth Summer Camp! Get details and register at www.restonbible.org/summercamp.
Introducing Our New Pastor of Fellowship Groups
This past Sunday, Jim Supp was introduced as the new RBC Pastor of Fellowship Groups, a position that will oversee the Shepherd Group, Men’s, and Women’s ministries.
Jim will officially begin in this role on June 4. If you weren’t able to attend services on Sunday, you can watch the announcement at the video below. Please welcome Jim as you see him around the RBC campus!